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Life Lessons From Elvis

Life Lessons From Elvis: Here is the cover of the book ”Life Lessons from Elvis: If Sequin Jumpsuits Are Wrong Then I Don’t Want To Be Right” by Anthony Rubino’s. This will be 160 pages ”humour” book was released as a hardback by Routledge Hill Press in mid June 2006. (ISBN: 1401602487).

Synopsis from The Herald Tribune: Life lessons sometimes come from unlikely sources. Take Michael Jackson, for example. If ever there were a reason to avoid plastic surgery, one need look no further. Or Paris Hilton, Tommy Lee and Scott Stapp, who reminded us that making a video of yourself having sex is a bad, bad, bad idea.

Of course, the ultimate pop-culture icon is the King himself, Elvis Presley. If you’ve ever wanted to live your life by Elvis’ rules — or if you already do and need a refresher course — a new book may help.

Just in time for the 19th anniversary of Presley’s death on Aug. 16 (the 20th anniversary would have been more appropriate, but oh, well) comes ”Life Lessons From Elvis: If Sequined Jumpsuits Are Wrong, Then I Don’t Want to Be Right” (Rutledge Hill Press, $14.99). The pocket book with the overly long title is by Anthony Rubino Jr., author of previous ”life lessons” books based on ”Melrose Place” and ”The Brady Bunch” (as well as ”1,001 Ways to Procrastinate”).

The quotes aren’t real, but what did you expect with such a title? Here are some samples: ”Ya gotta count yer blessings. For example, I’m thankful people call me ‘Elvis the Pelvis.’ My name could been Rick, man.”

”In a pinch, a 22-caliber pistol makes an excellent TV remote control. But you can only use it once.”

”Teach your daughters to stay away from weirdo, man-child, plastic-surgery-happy freaks.” (See? Even Elvis agrees with me!)

”If you’re itchin’ like a man on a fuzzy tree, and your friends say you’re actin’ wild as a bug, you might very well be in love. Either that, or you took one too many of those green pills.”

”If your wife wakes you up before you’ve gotten your fifteen hours of sleep, shoves a pen in your hand, and tells you you’re signin’ a contract for a movie called ‘Divorce Settlement,’ do not believe her.

”Just cuz you’re wearin’ a cape doesn’t mean you can fly. Man, I learned that the hard way.”

Overall, a pretty amusing book. But none of the passages top this classic Elvis joke, as told by Willie Nelson on Don Imus’ radio show: Nelson:

”What were Elvis’ last words?”

Imus: ”What?”Nelson: ”Corn?”

Source: Various

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